Silliness.

Amanda: "...and I was like, 'YELP' but--louder, and more shrieky."

Girls Night In

Jackie: "If Rock Creek Park held as many bodies as NCIS says it does..."
Amanda: "What? It's a big park!"

Trick or Treat?

Halloween is coming up, and I am mostly excited because David will be here. Leila is not trick or treating, as her dad doesn't approve, and I don't care enough to argue about it. She, however, asks about it five or six times a day. I've come up with a compromise--we'll go to the zoo. She'll be so excited she won't even remember the trick or treating! (I hope. I really hope.) Then, the next day, we'll splurge on some Halloween candy and problem solved--we did something fun, and candy was gotten, and these are the things that make Halloween, yes?

I will take a half million pictures. It'll be fun!

No regrets.

Editor's note.

I babbled. Sorry. I will get back to a)trying hard to be funny and b) posting pictures.

David bought me a camera and I've been snapping away like crazy. I figure if I suck at writing, I can at least show you pretty things? So, that I'll do.

My clients rock.

One of my regulars walked in rocking the following accessories and courteously (actually, laughingly) let me take a picture of her.

So: Don't forget to vote, y'all! She sure won't.

Biannual Blogging.

I am absolutely not good at keeping up with this blogging thing. And you would think that I would be, seeing as I talk constantly. A constant stream of chirping issues from my mouth, and whoever happens to be around gets to listen. David is so patient, Amanda humors me to a ridiculous extent, and the girls I work with think I'm hilarious. I kind of think I'm silly.

So I'd love to tell you that I had a super exciting day and I'm here to tell you all about it, but actually, I'm bored at 2AM and I keep swearing I'm going to get back into this, so here I am. I have absolutely nothing important to say, and no funny stories to tell, and I'm wishing I was...more amusing. However. Hi, y'all. I hope to remember to return tomorrow.

Hot. It is hot. Also there is heat.

The DC motto is, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity."

Except when it's both, like today.

Like, your hair sticks to your forehead, and the sweat runs down the small of your back, and the feeling of your messenger bag against your thigh makes you want to throw it against a wall because it's melting your capri pants to your skin. A walk around the corner to the bus stop builds up a sheen of sweat all over you, and by the time you get there sweat runs freely down your legs and of course the bus doesn't have air conditioning, so you try not to touch the back of the seat or the person sitting next to you. And you're gasping for a breeze, dying for open space, praying that you'll be there soon, and when the bus finally stops and you jump off and that breeze hits you....relief.

That's July in DC.

Cabbages and Kings

I grew up writing this asinine little stories and poems, and escaping into fantasy land. So when I started a blog, I thought it was going to be easy and I was going to rock blogland. It's not as easy as I thought. Sometimes I want to be too honest. Sometimes I just wanna talk about shoes. Sometimes I think my life is so fucking boring I just want to scream.

So, today I will try to talk about something other than shoes.

An interesting thing about retail is the artificial sense of closeness it creates between both the employees and the customers. At the store, it's important to create the "relationship" between the associate and the client in order to sell more effectively. The client sees you as a friend, she starts to value your opinion. One, she's going to buy more because it becomes fun and enjoyable. Two, she's going to come back and see her "buddy." This works out all right, different girls have different clients. I have a few in particular that are just a delight to see.

But the thing is, people cross lines. Or they mistake the artificial friendship for a real one. Or they see you as just a warm body to talk at. And talk they do. They tell you things they shouldn't, things about their families, their lives, their medical woes, their money problems... (Rhetorical question: If you have money problems, why are you in my very high-end store?)

Today, a client in my store dropped a bomb: Her son had just died. I was put off by her announcement--grief should be private. We don't live in the Victorian Era, or have mourning periods. But even still, I'm a sensitive person. Parents shouldn't outlive their children, it isn't the way things were meant to be. So I said the usual things, "I'm sorry to hear that, that's terrible," and she proceeded to tell me that he was only 29 and wasted away from cancer...I wanted to cry, but not really for her. I felt like she was milking it. It made my stomach turn over; I just hate public displays of emotion, but she didn't have any emotion. She was just reciting the facts and gaging our reactions. She mentioned that she was medicated, so that could have been it, but I don't know...even the offhand mention of medication seemed calculated.

It felt so wrong to me. So many people really do suffer, and live through horrible tragedies without feeling the need to inform everyone they come across, and certainly not the salesgirls at a shop they frequent. Maybe I'm not as compassionate as I thought I was. Maybe I think the worst of everyone. But it all rang so false and at the same time I felt so moved for the rest of her family.

I'm such a horrible person for doubting her grief.

I have things to tell you.

Ssh. I'll be back tomorrow.

Musings on the No. 5

Public transportation can feel almost companionable at times. You sit down gingerly, holding your knees together, arms in your lap...but often there comes a moment where you both relax, then your thighs are touching-- you feel the warmth of their upper arm against yours and it's nice to just be next to someone. You're ignoring each other, but together in some sense.

More fun in my house. Of the fun.

Most of the time, three girls live in my house. Amanda and I, of course, are here all the time. Leila is here three or four days a week.
Now, Amanda and I have a lot of Crazy. And our Crazies play off of each other, mine causing hers to spin out and vice versa. And we're enablers, encouraging each other to buy shoes, whining about the perfect, dream pair of shoes that will complete our lives. We also buy each other things.
It really is somewhat wrong. But it got me these:


Okay. I can't figure out what is going on with my toes here. Is it noticeable to other people? Because it's driving me crazy here. But--TEN DOLLARS!

And these. Okay, I own these shoes in two colors--Amanda owns them in THREE:


We've been bored lately. And I haven't had much of interest to say. But they tell me the eyes are the window to the soul, so here's something for your contemplation. Maybe you can divine what's been going through my head lately, since I'm unable to express it:

This is what we do in my house for fun.

So. Amanda and I like shoes.

Less than half of my shoes. In fact, about a quarter of them:


My favorites, scored for $14:


Amanda's coltish ankles, and pimp patent leather shoes:


Pointy makes me happy:


But in the end, we're both the ballet flat sort of girl:

MIA

Sorry for a lapse, but I'm trying out some new meds and am not exactly with it at the moment. Will return soon--

Cracked.

Amanda and I have been watching Veronica Mars every day for over a week now. We want to be Veronica, we want to bang Logan. (God, do we want to bang Logan. He's so pretty, so so pretty.) (And so is Veronica, for that matter. Cute like a little pixie!) It's a very addictive show, I recommend it if you're a nerd like me who loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
(Um, please don't ever mention that I said that. It is my not-so-secret shame.)
(I am rather parenthetical today.)
While I'm sharing, we have a mouse. Like, "eek, a mouse!" It scared the daylights out of Amanda, and we thought it had taken up residence in our shoe closet (which is filled with my shoes, and Leila's, so Amanda wasn't really too concerned.) but now, guess what? It appears to be living behind the damn stove. So now I don't want to cook or do the dishes, because I'm a-scared of it scampering across my toes and/or giving me hantavirus. (Rodent-borne disease WHICH YOU CAN DIE OF, STOP LAUGHING AT ME.)
I worked a twelve-hour day today, and am starting to feel a little strange. Now that I've shared (because I know that our mouse and Veronica Mars are crucially important to you) I'm going to shuffle off to bed like the old, old woman I am. (When it rains or is humid, my knee hurts like holy hell. What am I, like eighty?)

Back in business.

First day back at The Little Company That Could. It rained and was cold, so the store was empty, and I spent all day learning the company values by rote. Going to help one last time with shipment tomorrow at Big Box, and then I'm bouncing, happily.

--absolutely nothing of interest to write about, and completely free of reflection. So this is a quick entry to try and get back in the habit of writing.

Kindness of Strangers.

We got a new TV! And my laptop decided to like me again. Which is my excuse for not posting last night--my laptop decided the internet didn't exist. Which, technically it doesn't, because we don't have it hooked up and I steal from my neighbors. I have become tired of depending on their generosity, though, and also of getting kicked on and off, and not having cable, so I let Comcast suck my soul and we'll have interwebs starting on Wednesday.

This afternoon we hauled in this massive TV on our own; it must've weighed a million pounds. We got to about twenty feet away from our apartment and had to put it down--our fingers were going numb. Right at that moment one of our neighbors came out, this huge, ripped bodybuilder. He then proceeded to carry the TV in for us, then caught Amanda in the hall a few minutes later and asked her to let him know if we needed anything else.

Today was my last day at Big Box, aside from a couple of hours on Tuesday. I handed over my keys and left the building grinning like an idiot and squinting into the sun.

Little bit inconsistent.

Must get better at this blogging business. You wouldn't think it would be so difficult to set aside a few moments to blather on about your day, but I log on and stare at the page for a while before just...giving up. So. It's going to be boring, but I have a resolution to write at least a paragraph every night.

Here's today: Saturday is my last day at Big Box. I am going back to The Little Company That Could. It was a promotion, a raise, and a relief. The work/life balance is something that larger companies just do not understand, and this tiny place really gets that. Definitely some bittersweetness to this, I will really miss my team. I love a lot of the people there. Getting up at four is killing me, and I miss having a life. I've barely been into the city in the past eight months and the thought of going into the spring, spending all my time indoors but what it takes me to walk back and forth from the metro stations...I couldn't stand it. I barely see Leila; I don't have time to travel. I'm tired and the job is stressful. Monday lands me back in granola-land, of soy fabrics and yoga classes, and golf pros who work part time there "because [they] like it so much."

In the vein of returning to the healthy store I am trying to return to the healthy life. I haven't run all winter due to the cold and also--four in the morning?! I'd like to see you get up earlier than that to run! So starting Tuesday I'll run every other day, and Amanda claims she'll run also. We will see about that, of course.

Meh. Feel like I can't hit the right tone here. In summation: will write a paragraph or more every night, will run starting Tuesday. Will not stress over these last two days at Big Box. Will be proud of myself for getting the job at The Little Company that Could.

Justice. Mercy. Hope.

Jenna would've been 23 today. You can see in my sidebar a link to the site Justice for Jenna. You can read her story, and understand what her family (including my friend J) are going through, have been going through.
You will probably cry if you think about it too much, I know I did.
I've been trying to be honest, in all of my life, instead of hiding things under my skin, like I am so prone to doing. So in light of that, instead of blathering on about the situation, I want to post some prayers I wrote in the first few days, and get those thoughts out there again...some kind of karma, directed and Jenna's family, during this tough week.
I don't pray very often, so I started writing things down because I thought it would be easier...

Prayers for Jenna:
Godspeed
May Angels unable to protect you
lead you home with gentle hands
may you hold your unseen child
in loving arms, for all eternity
May your family know swift healing
and may prayers lift them from their grief
and finally: may you have felt no pain, no fear
may you have been blissfully ignorant
and your last waking thoughts of love.

Prayers for Jason:
God help you.
May you retain your faith
May you know the love of friends and family
the support of communities behind you
May the tears shed by your eyes
Open them to the tragedies of others
May empathy rule your emotions
for the remainder of your days
may you know love, Jason
and carry these scars as a badge
a reminder of loss,
a reminder of faith
a reminder of her.
May you be lifted by this prayer , and the other prayers
said by so many, always caring--


The day after the news came about, I wrote this as an addendum:

May the strength that has gotten you through this far stand you in good stead.May our prayers sustain you further. May you cling to the shreds of peace God is still providing.
And may love surround you. Always, always.

How I Shop (Or: Welcome Back to Topic Town)

I love to shop. It is a huge deal to me. (No pun intended.) I simply enjoy the smell of new clothes, fondling them, touching new makeup and fantasizing about how it would look on me...god, I love to shop. I rarely buy full price, working for a major retailer helps out with that, but being a bargain hunter also plays a big role. I like to go by myself, so I can take my time, but I also feel awkward in smaller shops with every person breathing down my neck.

How I choose to spend my money: Makeup, shoes, clothing, books, sushi, and the biggest expense: Leila. Her clothes, her shoes, her books, her toys. More than anything clothes and BOOKS. We like books at our house.

I wish I spent less money on: Coffee. I drink so much coffee they should have to peel me off the ceiling, but it really barely affects me. Getting up so early I have my first latte around 8, and then another around eleven. I don't have any after that so I can go to bed super early.

Speaking of bed, I am super sleepy. I think I am going to go rest my tired, sore body and chastise myself for being a spendy, spendy type of girl. You'll forgive me, right?