In my defense, there are no Catholics in Arkansas.
Or, apparently, anywhere else I've ever lived.
Also in my defense, I AM A MORON.
Yesterday there was a young woman in my store who had a large...mole? Bruise? In the middle of her forehead. I didn't want to stare so I couldn't figure out what it was. Shortly thereafter there was ANOTHER lady with a forehead bruise. Then, as I was eating lunch, I saw yet another...and so I said to my coworker, "What is this, National Forehead Wound Day? I've seen three women with massive bruises on their heads!"
Connie stared at me, frankly flabbergasted. Then she said,
"Jackie. It's Ash Wednesday."
Me: "I know! ...Oh. Wait, they put ASH on their heads?"
Umm. And then she sort of explained about the Mass and stuff. And then she asked, "Isn't your friend Joy OF WHOM YOU SPEAK ALL THE TIME a devout Catholic?"
Uh, yeah. She sort of is. But look, I worked on Ash Wednesday last year, and I saw NO forehead smudges. Nor the year before that. And I am BAPTIST and we're not that big on rituals.
Also? I AM A MORON.