Laws of Parenting, Part 1

IF you are so tired you are dozing in front of the computer, and your child runs upstairs to visit with her grandma, so you lay down on the couch, the child will come back downstairs the instant you fall asleep, followed by her aunt, hollering that the child needs a diaper change.
IF you then sniff the child, determine the stink is of gas origin as opposed to solid, and send her BACK upstairs, the instant you fall back asleep her grandma will then begin yelling down the stairs that there is actual solid poop in the diaper and also she is leaving, so come get the child.
And then, IF you resign yourself to not getting a nap, change the child's diaper, smack yourself in the face a few times to wake up, make everyone lunch, and sit down for some quality time with your blogs, your child will promptly fall asleep face-first into her corn and chicken, and then you will cry, because you're never going to fall back asleep now.