1) My child is so cranky today that I let her play with whatever she wanted and fed her sweetarts for breakfast.
2) I have picked up a charming quirk from my mother, the phrase "We are some (noun)-(verb)ing people around here." As in, as I stood at the closet at my workplace, staring at approximately ten bottled waters, "We are some water-drinking people around here." Or, when I grabbed a huge stack of mail last night, "We are some mail-getting people around here."
3)The makers of children's medicines should be forced to try to feed it to a screaming, writhing, kicking, spitting toddler. Then they would understand why they need to make it TASTE BETTER.
4)If you, a member of management, have been very, very late several times in the past few weeks, and someone finally calls you on it? You should not, then, leave a message on that person's answering machine threatening to get them in trouble for not doing something when it is something they are not even allowed to do.