A few notes:

To The Guy Who Made My Lovely Friend Cry. A. Lot. :
Women are fragile. You may not know this, having a brain approximately the size of an M&M, but it takes a lot for someone to open up and tell you about something very bad that happened to them, and, obviously, will affect them for the rest of their life. So if you, then, proceed to take that something and make it all about YOU, then you are an ass. So WHAT if you felt rejected? Poooooor baby. I think ten minutes--ten days--of you feeling a little shitty sort of pales in comparison to something that your girlfriend has to carry around with her for the rest of her life. Suck it UP, dude. And don't call, 'cause honestly, I don't think she needs someone like you in her life anyhow.
Here's hoping you turn gay in LA,
Jackie Joy.

To the Nurse Who Could Not Be Bothered to Finish the Paperwork Necessary to Have Me Admitted to My Room and Therefore Left Me Without Pain Medication for Several Hours:
Dude. Screw you. I sat in my crappy triage chair four hours, then when someone else was finally badgered into taking me up to my room, the nurses didn't know I was coming, the room wasn't clean, and I sat in the hall in a wheelchair, sobbing, wondering what the hell I'd done to incur YOUR wrath. Also? Somewhere in that time period, I lost my cell phone, so you owe me $200 and about 3 shots of Dilaudid.
Painfully,
Jackie Joy

To My Ovaries, Who Have Betrayed Me Mightily,
(well, actually, just the left one, as the right passed into the dear departed last April)
I hate you. I will never have another baby, which I could deal with, but I've also lost nearly a year of my life dealing with the chronic, severe pain you have inflicted on me. I am having a hysterectomy, (at the age of 23, damn you) and I will not miss you, and I shall be bitter forever and ever, amen.
Have fun with my Uterus in Organ Hell, (where all bad organs go)
Jackie Joy